I kept scaring my dad. telling him that i find that life is meaningless and i want to end it. (NO I DIDNT ATTEMPT TO END MY LIFE. I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. I DID NOT ATTEMPT. DID NOT.) but a few days ago when my life felt like it was going to end because I was so giddy. i finally realised how many things i have left undone and needs to be done. i still want to live. i dont want to go heaven so quickly. too many things i want to do on earth. earth is where i want to stay. too many people i want to see. too many things i want to do. i shall stop wasting time. time is precious. maybe my life is short. who knows?

I thought I finallly won my family to God's side.. But someone ruined it.. Not sure who really.. Maybe it's myself..

dont break my heart for what break yours God.. becaues I am not You. unless You guarantee me with at least 100 hearts for my heart is made of glass.

as I was reflecting through my past mistakes, I felt that the gravity is stronger. I could not stand up. I started crying, I could not stop. But I had to if not my eyes will not work healthily.

yes yingying's right. I am a NOOB. complete NOOB. Then maybe I shall just end my life. since I am wasting resources and wasting people's efforts. never involving never looking out for others. you dont know how much I hate your comments. you should shut up and just let God judge me.

I have eyes but cannot see. I asked someone else to clean the dirt in his eyes.. But I have not cleaned mine. Bible verse. in John. not sure which..

I think I am in heaven.. Food, water, clothes, electricity, laptop, furnitues, air con, fan, washing machine, rice cooker, frying pan, gas, fire, heater, friends, family..

Yet it's never enough. Respect me.. Respect me.. Respect. Respect. then again who am I to speak respect when I dont really exactly.. endless..